Tuesday 18 April 2023

Dreams can come true - it’s just that this one is a fever dream

I have only once seen Real Madrid play in the flesh, and that was when a business associate took me to the Santiago Bernabéu Stadium some years ago for a home fixture against Getafe. It was a new football experience for me: kick-off at 9pm on a Sunday evening followed - as is the local custom - by dinner in a highly agreeable meal nearby (which meant not getting back to my hotel until almost 1am - perfect, then, for a critical meeting at 8am later that morning...). The football was average, but the atmosphere inside that awe-inspiring colosseum was electric.

Contrast that, then, with the atmosphere at Stamford Bridge around 5pm last Saturday, and what that means for mood around the ground tonight as Chelsea face Real in the second leg of their Champions League quarter final. Somehow, I don’t expect my second experience of seeing the serial European champions for a second time will match my first.

In fact, tonight promises to be a somewhat surreal episode in the fever dream that Chelsea’s season has been from the off. No one, not even the most rosy-cheeked optimist, is giving Frank Lampard’s team a hope in Hell of overturning Madrid’s 2-0 advantage from last week’s first leg. And with tickets at over £70 a pop, I’m even struggling to justify the “but it’s Real Madrid…” reasoning for seeing los blancos in the flesh against Chelsea in their current state. However, a lifelong fan does what a lifelong fan does.

Even by this season’s depths, Saturday’s defeat to an in-form Brighton at Stamford Bridge was a new low, and compounded by being Lampard’s first game in charge in front of the fans he played so brilliantly for over 13 years. The trouble is, on the evidence he’s presented over three games as interim manager, his appointment was purely a PR move by Todd Boehly and his co-owners. And even that looked like it had backfired when the American was seen remonstrating with fans in the tier above his executive box on Saturday.

Yesterday it emerged that an apparently excised Boehly followed his impromptu fan chat by marching from the West Stand across the vacated pitch to the home dressing room in the East Stand, telling the players that the club’s season has been “embarrassing”, and that the board expected better of a squad that has been added to with a £600 million spend during the two transfer windows that the Boehly-Clearlake Capital consortium has been in charge. Rumour has it that one particular player - thought to be Raheem Sterling - was made to feel particularly uncomfortable, given the princely sum that lured him from Manchester City last summer, for limited return since. However, to single out one player would be grossly unfair, given how awful almost all 16 members of the squad involved in Saturday’s game performed.

No doubt Boehly was trying his best to motivate the squad ahead of tonight’s game, with the Champions League now Chelsea’s only prospect for silverware this season, not to mention the only route back into Europe next term. It was reported that Boehly and his fellow board members, Behdad Eghbali and Hansjörg Wyss, spent about an hour in the dressing room, with one eye witness describing the scene as “weird”.

Goalkeeper Kepa Arrizabalaga, appointed Chelsea’s umpteenth captain of the season for the day on Saturday, downplayed the Boehly intervention, saying that it was “normal” for the American to visit the players after games. Lampard himself continued to apply his exemplary political skills during his pre-match press conference yesterday. “When an owner is invested in the team and wants to help and improve, it’s their prerogative to have the input they want,” adding that “past owners” - by which he clearly meant Roman Abramovich - weren’t always present in the dressing room. When the Russian did, it was either to celebrate a trophy, or to be a harbinger of doom for the current manager. “[Owners in the dressing room] is not a bad thing in terms of the identity of the club and where you want to get to,” he told journalists. “There is no problem with it. I had my things to say after the game. If the owner comes in and wants to be positive and speak to the players, then I think it is his part to do that.”

Much of the fanbase, however, pins the blame on Boehly for the mess Chelsea are in, with the £4.25 billion takeover - which did save the club after Abramovich had been forced to sell up - followed by the eye-watering outlay that brought in a phalanx of new players like Sterling, Enzo Fernandez, Mykhailo Mudryk and the loanee João Félix. In of themselves, exciting players, but injected into a squad with seemingly no plan or strategy for playing them. Thus, Graham Potter found to his cost that he was unable to get the best out of his expensive new charges, while still being saddled with wantaway deadweights like Hakim Zyech and Christian Pulisic (whom, inexplicably, he both continued to play). Lampard has now inherited the problem. Not only that but, in his own words, players he considers unfit, with some appearing unable (or unprepared) to carry out basic running at opponents.

All, then, is not happy in the Chelsea camp. Some fans will sympathise with Lampard, even if they’re not entirely convinced he's going to be able to restore any dignity to the remainder of the men’s team’s season (compare that with Emma Hayes’ Chelsea Women, who on Sunday booked themselves a place in their third consecutive FA Cup Final). However, Lampard does not have unanimous support: it is understood that in Boehly’s heated exchange on Saturday, sharp comments were made to him about Lampard’s interim appointment. You might think that to be an act of heresy, but such is the sulphurous mood at the club, that the side was booed off after the Brighton match, despite being the homecoming of “Super Frank”.

“With regard to the ownership and fans, passion goes both ways,” Lampard said yesterday. “The fans show passion and I don’t think the owners or anybody who comes to Chelsea can expect anything else. We have been fortunate enough that the club has been successful over the last 20 years or so. That means you want more of it.” Ever the diplomat, he continued: “The word passion is coming from both sides. These are passionate owners who want to bring a real vision to the club and we are probably the early stage of the process in those terms. We can all be passionate together and work in the same direction.”

The trouble is, there’s scant evidence of that on the pitch. Indeed, an impromptu team meeting led by Arrizabalaga in front of his own defensive area mid-game suggested that the players were starting to make it up for themselves. Lampard, you’d have hoped, should have been able to get this group of misfits playing for the shirt he graced as part of a team of serial winners. On Saturday, only Conor Gallagher and, to some extent, Mudryk, demonstrated any passion. Others, including the dependable wingbacks Reece James and Ben Chilwell looked off their game, possibly embarrassed by what and whom they were working amongst. 

There were too many other lows on Saturday to list here, though the ignominy of Sterling getting booed off stands out. Imagine that, happening to an English player and one of national distinction. But given that Sterling has apparently cut an isolated figure around the training ground, and is believed to have grown increasingly dissatisfied with the club (despite it paying him north of £300,000 a week), it could be said that he has become indicative of the toxicity at Chelsea, as they spiral deeper into the lower half of the Premier League.

Meanwhile, the process to appoint a permanent manager continues. Luis Enrique has already been interviewed, Mauricio Pochettino and relatively unknown Portuguese coach Ruben Amorim also remain under consideration, with Julian Nagelsmann looking increasingly the favourite (with members of the Chelsea board reportedly warming to him having initially been indifferent). However, the challenge for whoever gets the gig is that, on current evidence, Chelsea look unmanageable. To confound things further, Financial Fair Play considerations could leave the successful candidate with a squad drastically depleted by an end-of-season fire sale. Barely a day goes by without another name being added to the list of assets to be stripped. While the eBay catalogue of players many fans would readily eject writes itself (Zyech, Pulisic, Chalobah, Loftus-Cheek, Cucurella, Koulibaly and Sterling, at least), others might be more painful to part company with, most notably Academy graduates Mason Mount, Conor Gallagher and the highly rated young defender Levi Colwill, who could all leverage decent returns. Plus, to add to the new manager’s headaches, Romalu Lukaku will return to his parent club after Inter Milan signalled that they would not be renewing his loan deal, meaning a tricky ego will need reintegrating into a fractured side, despite being one criminally bereft of a nailed-on striker.

Even before the Boehly-Clearlake consortium arrived on the scene, Chelsea suffered from a bloated squad, only lightly offset by myriad loan placements. With a squad of 32 players today, including those acquired over the summer and January windows, Potter and now Lampard have had a near-impossible task keeping everyone happy. There have even been reports of not enough space in the changing room for everyone. More seriously, a working group that big presents challenges for the coaching staff at Cobham, let alone what Lampard must have to do to pick his best 11. On top of that, the new ownership brought with it a number of behind the scenes changes to technical and medical staff, which may have been reflected by some signs of player dissatisfaction spilling into matchdays.

‘Chelsea Twitter’ has been an unpleasant place for most of this season, where even the anonymous keyboard warriors - who’ve probably never set foot in SW6 - have whipped up dissent towards even favourite sons like Mount and Chilwell. The #PotterOut fraternity remained largely online until the crowd became noticeably more muted at Stamford Bridge itself, before becoming openly hostile towards the manager. By the time he was fired last month, Potter had largely lost the broad support, which forced the Chelsea board to act. But, by Saturday evening, after Chelsea’s third defeat in a row under Lampard, even the unthinkable of arguably the club’s greatest midfielder getting stick, was audible. 

The conclusion, then, is that Season 22-23 is lost. Lampard’s totemic figure notwithstanding, Potter could have been replaced by a house brick for the remaining games this term, and the dysfunction would probably be just as bad. Whoever gets to pick up the mess for next season will have a mountain to climb. He will have to rebuild a fractured squad, ensuring that some of the pricier additions who survive the summer cull are in the right frame of mind to compete for just the Premier League, the FA Cup and the League Cup. 

As many a wag has commented, there’s not a manager in the world who can come in and rescue this season for Chelsea. It remains to be seen whether Nagelsmann, Enrique or any of the others on the shortlist can quickly restore Chelsea to the European elite that, under Abramovich, London’s serial under-achievers became a part of. 

Perhaps, though, a fallow season or two is just what the club needs. That’s unless there’s an exceedingly unlikely miracle tonight in West London. Followed by another next month. And another, in Istanbul in June.

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