And we're back

Yes, yes, I know we're in the midst of the Olympics (and when I say "midst", I'm writing this at 2am while watching Mo Farah become the most incredible human being in the history of everything), and it's only the second weekend of August, but the football season began over a week ago and the Premier League is only now catching up. Which means that I'm beyond Ten-Year-Old-On-Christmas-Eve Mode. Christmas Day is here.

This time last year I did the thing all football fans do with their respective teams and dismissed Chelsea's opening day draw with Swansea as just that, an opening day draw with Swansea. This is entirely in keeping with the Trevor Brooking-strength non-commitalism we adopt in the opening salvos of the season: "Win? It's only the first game, don't get carried away"; "Draw? It's only the first game, nothing to be alarmed about"; "Lose? It's only the first game, today's result doesn't count". For us, trudging out of Stamford Bridge on August 8 last year, what was there to be concerned at? The manager, José Mourinho, had signed a megabucks new four-year deal just the day before, and despite that brouhaha over the "medical department" attending an injured player at an awkward moment in the game's trajectory, we were the defending champions and - who cares? - it was very sunny indeed. Let's dwell less on what followed.

So, with the sun shining once again and everyone - including José, apparently - still in their start-of-season happy place, what do the next 39 weeks hold? Absolutely anything, to be honest. Football is chaos, remember? All last week the papers were trailing the new Premier League season (the only league that counts, we assume...) with their football writers' predictions. Now, you'd have thought they'd have learned their lesson last time around, when everyone seemed hell-bent on reinstating Chelsea at the top, and the best the bookies could give you on Leicester winning it was 5,000/1, which is as big a slap in the teeth as you could possibly get. But, no. Predictably, this time around, Manchesters United and City, in either order, are overwhelmingly the pundits' picks, though notably there is no real consensus as to which way round.

Realistically, however, it is pretty much going to be about United and City and their respective Iberian managers. The media-amplified rivalry between Mourinho and Pep Guardiola is being cranked up to well beyond 11, and rightly so. It's good box office. The Portuguese has taken his customary braggadocio to Old Trafford and inflated it further by, first, signing that ageing show pony Ibrahimovic, and then securing the inspirationally bonkers purchase of Paul Pogba. Of course, £89 million (plus his wages and other add-ons) is a ridiculous amount of money for a football player - none is really worth even half of that - but United will earn hansomely from Pogba shirts, DVDs and all the other tat they'll sell in the Far East over the next five years. You've got to admire them for having the lunacy to spend such as sum.

Down the road, Guardiola is getting on with his thing, making seemingly unthinkable decisions like dropping Joe Hart and generally being The Cerebral One. Yesterday's narrow 2-1 win over Sunderland will give him something to think about, but then I refer to my comments above (only the first game, etc). It is, though, a thrilling prospect, having Mourinho and Guardiola sparring with each other this season - one, with his stubborn dogma when it comes to formations, the latter with his deeply analytical approach (and, it has to be said, greater articulation - Mourinho is still using "moment" as a catch-all word, 12 years after he first arrived in England). People keep saying their rivalry is just a load of hype, but lets just see what happens as the competition between their teams cranks up.

But let's not be fooled for one minute into thinking that this season's Premier League will be just about two managers. It's going to be about all 20. There will be the pressure on Sean Dyche (Burnley), the refreshingly individual Aitor Karanka (Middlesbrough) and Who Knows? (Hull City) to not be immediately installed as automatic relegationees having only just come up; Howe (Bournemouth); Pardew (Crystal Palace), Pulis (West Brom) and Moyes (Sunderland) will have to avoid getting sucked into a relegation scrap themselves; Bilic (West Ham) will have to deliver a standard of football big enough to warrant occupation of an Olympic stadium; Koeman (Everton) will follow in Martinez's footsteps in demonstrating that Everton can still compete on the big stage; Puel (Southampton) and Guidolin (Swansea City) will have to continuously demonstrate who they actually are, while Walter Mazzarri (Watford) will have to smile and bear with his club's eccentric ownership.

Arsène Wenger enters his final season under contract as Arsenal manager, supporter dissent growing as his chequebook continues to avoid daylight and mirrors like a Transylvanian count. At Liverpool, Jürgen Klopp, his patter of one-liners and his amusing jaw arrangement, enters his first full season as Anfield boss with the weight of expectation no less heavy on his shoulders as it was when he pitched up last October. Perhaps more so. Liverpool fans are notoriously impatient, and for all his bonhomie and wackiness, Klopp can't afford to be the league's class clown. Mauricio Pochettino'sTottenham will remain viewed as the team who lost the title last season, collapsing at Stamford Bridge (in what was probably the home side's one and only performance of merit) and in the process, losing out to Arsenal for second spot almost at last knockings.

And what of the team they conceded the title to? Claudio Ranieri has seen everything in his much travelled managerial career. His response to winning the league in May was as gentlemanly and dignified as it was pleasing to see. Will he win it again? Unlikely, given the power struggle coming out of Manchester, but he and Leicester have proven that they've got the impossible in them, so don't rule them out of contention for a top five spot just yet. And, no, yesterday's surprise opening day defeat to Hull City doesn't mean anything.

All of which leaves me with Antonio Conte and Chelsea. Frankly, they should have won the league again last season. There really is no reason why, with the squad that won it in 2014-15 intact that 2015-16 shouldn't have been a repeat performance. But this season? Taking into account that the title is one for the Manchesters to lose, Chelsea and Conte's agenda will be to restore belief that Chelsea are a force in English football. Only then, and the restoration of Champions League football, will they really be able to compete in the transfer market for audacious prizes like a Pogba. Conte's primary objective is to build Chelsea back up mentally, not just physically. And that means getting on with business, even if it turns out that the supposed talent acquisition dream team of technical director Michael Emenalo and chief negotiator Marina Granovskaia fail, once again, to deliver the coach's wish list. Mourinho had one last summer, Conte this summer. So far no one on it has turned up at Stamford Bridge to sign a contract. Let's just hope the club medics don't upset Conte on Monday night, as I would hate for history to repeat itself again...